You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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