Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
