what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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