Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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