went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
