the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
