Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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