i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
