I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
