Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
