one two three fourrrrnication!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
