i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
