Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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