Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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