she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
