I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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