I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
