Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
