I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
