oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize