Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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