Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
