We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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