yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
