Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
