I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
this will be a night to untag.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
