I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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