the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
tell me about the eggs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
