grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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