So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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