You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize