you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
