I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
