come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
