I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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