I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
