just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
