We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
