im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize