I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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