don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize