i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
