You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
