please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
