i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
