That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
