so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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