I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
