I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
