you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
