Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize