So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
