I hope mine doesn't look like that
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The uberlube is also flammable
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
