in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
