Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Can I color on your dick again?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
