Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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