he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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