you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
