I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
