your room smells of hookers.
And success
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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