I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
