Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
