Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i drank out of a bidet.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
