Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
