And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
