I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
