Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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